kuniform

Last night i ate some leftover pizza, and sprinkled some dried hot peppers on it. When the pizza is hot, they’ll stick right to the cheese and bond to the pizza. When the pizza is cold they rattle all over it like you’re carrying a plate of bb’s. So, I eats la pizza. I sneeze. I get a piece of hot pepper skin up my nose.. So far up my nose that I can feel the heat emanating down into the roof of my mouth, yet so far down my nose that sneezing only moves it around to really irritate my mucus membranes. I nearly lost my equilibrium, and my dinner, that’s how bad it felt.

Finally, I laid on my back on the floor, breathing through the afflicted nostril, until gravity took its course and the red pepper took the course most food takes upon entering my body. I do not recommend trying this at home.