kuniform

Was this in my dreams, or my nightmares:

Hey, hold on to your surf board. It may be a little slick from that Valdez oil slick we still haven’t paid to clean up yet. Hi, I’m Lee Raymond, ex-head of Exxon, guest blogger on kuniform today. Please don’t be angry because I was given a 400 million dollar retirement package, I am a human being like you. I’m just sharper at the game, boss! Hee hee hee. Haw.

Here, this fair and balanced Washington Times article will tell the whole story. Heck, you can always trust a paper owned by the moonies. It shows I need to work for my dead presidents, baby!

Heck, some of that isn’t even cash, it’s stock options, a coupla houses, use of a private corporate jet, and a $1 million/year consulting contract. Sheesh. It’s not all just cash, so get over it. I am a C-O-N-S-U-L-T-A-N-T. C’mon, you’re only pissed because it’s a retirement package bigger than the GNP of the three smallest countries in the world.

Ok, ok, you’re right, Jason (Man, this guy will not shut up with the useless opinions). You’ve convinced me. Time to donate all my ill gotten gains to charity. I wonder if I can find a group with similar interests. Hey, this Josh Marshall guy has a great article here. I really dig his progressive views.

Competitive Enterprise Insitute, you say? Attackin’ Al Gore, huh? Defending the pro-emissions folks?!?

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Pollution! Goooooooooo toxic chemicals! I’m a big rooter for emissions! Whoops.. Excuse me… That emission.. Must’ve been that guacamole you made, Kunesh. Too spicy, and it’s not the kind of gas that makes me a filthy rich man.

Well, it makes your air filthy, and me rich. Now, where’s my checkbook so’s I can buy off the public’s interest?